Last Saturday, I was spending the morning getting ready for a short trip to visit family for the weekend. As I was running around the house, my daughter told me that she wanted to watch a movie. As a three year old, a movie is anything that is on the tv, usually a cartoon. I asked her which cartoon she wanted to watch, thinking that I would hear one of her usual favorites. Instead, she brought over my DVD of Star Wars, and said in her excited little voice, ‘Star Wars, it’s your favorite!’ Of course, it sounded more like, ‘Sta Waas, it’s yo faberite!’ which only made it even cuter.
I put it on, and tried to get back to getting ready for the trip. But everywhere I went, she followed. Normally, if she picks a ‘movie’, she is hooked to the tv, if at least for a few minutes and allows us some time to do some work. I kept returning to the living room, hoping that something on the screen would catch and keep her attention. After about half an hour of being followed by a cute little shadow, I was ‘asked’ to make some popcorn, because we were watching a movie and needed it, according to my little blonde friend. After she helped me ‘make popcorn’, which she did rather well with, she kept asking questions like, ‘Who’s that?’ I had to answer, ‘That’s C-3PO,’ ‘R2-D2’ ‘Luke’ ‘Obi-Wan’ and then repeat that every time that character left the screen and returned.
Hoping again I could slip away and complete my self assigned duties, I left the room, only to have what can only be described at the cutest ball and chain stick with me. I asked her why didn’t she want to watch the movie? Her answer- ‘I want to watch the movie with you!’ Then it dawned on me, she didn’t want some moving pictures on a screen for her entertainment. She wanted to spend time with her daddy. She picked my favorite movie not for her, but for me. My heart melted with sorrow. I had spent so much time trying to get away from her while she just wanted to be with me. It didn’t matter what we were watching or doing, she just wanted quality time with me.
When my wife has low spoon days, and spends them in bed, I do my best to keep our daughter occupied. However, sometimes my daughter asks for her mom. I carry her to my room and we find my wife in bed in one state of wakefulness or another. Sometimes their quality time is just my two girls sitting on the bed, sharing stories in mixed English and toddler pigeon babble. But we have it, low spoons or busy day.
Supporting A CFS Spouse 