Little Acts Of Service

When facing chronic illness, depression is a big posibility.  This is for both the spouse and the illness holder. Service is one of the best ways to combat depression.  But one does not have to plan trips to remote African villages to serve others.  One person I know makes sure to write a birthday message to every person they know on Facebook.  They did this after receiving only one ‘Happy Birthday’ themselves.  They wanted to make sure that their friends had at least one happy birthday.  Favorite foods, flowers, small favors, all work.  Make sure your spouse smiles at least once a day.

Comparison- Feeding The Green Eyed Monster

So, we are blessed to be on vacation visiting family in the Provo, Utah area, and I was reminded of a lesson that affects both healthy and chronicle affected spouses. (If you are in the Provo area, find a J Dawgs hot dog shop, I like mine with onions and special sauce)  We took Elle to Toddler Time storytelling at the local library, and it was hard not to compare us to the other families there.  Many had at least one child, some more, one lady had three children under four and another on the way.  I always wanted a large family, but pregnancy was hard on Kay.  We are spacing out our children, if we are able to have more.  It was hard to tell myself that it was ok that we aren’t just like the girl I went to high school with who had two kids.  I was surprised to realize I was the one doing the comparing, and I was the heathy one.

CFS has affected us in ways we didn’t anticipate.  My family probably won’t be like the one I imagined whenI was single, (I imagined finding a tall redhead, instead I have a cute, fun sized brunette)  but it’s ok.  Dreams need to shift, projects shelved, but what will hurt us is comparing our families and spouses to those who have different challenges than we face.  We can only compare ourselves against where we were in the past.  The only thing to do is improve what we can, trust the rest to God, and keep enduring.  None of us were meant to compare ourselves to others, whether healthy or stuck with the annoying one.  We are here to learn, love and serve.