Fat cats and lean me

Last week, I shared a bit about us being on a diet that should help my wife’s health, and maybe getting some new cats.

Mandatory pictures are included of our new cats, the grey one is Limerick, and the kitten is Haiku. (Because it’s little) We adopted them from a home needing to downsize, because we didn’t have a mouse problem but rather a cat deficiency.  We also wanted to start teaching our daughter about being responsible for something.  As I write this, little Haiku is cured up on my belly.

Also, a side affect of the diet is losing weight.  The first week I lost 10 lbs and my wife lost 8.  Weigh in is again tonight for this last week.  I feel really good, other than missing so many favorite foods.  But my pants are much looser and I am looking very sexy in a form shirt, rather than a pear.  Looking forward to thanksgiving next week, hope I don’t blow it.

The Doctors office, and maybe a cat

Tomorrow we are going to the doctor to see if something affecting my wife is what we think it is.  I won’t say what it is until we know for sure.  Also, when I went in my kid’s room to wake the little one, she was on the floor, curled up with her favorite blanket and using her stuffed unicorn for a pillow.  It was so cute.  She had also striped her pajamas off and was in just her diaper.  Hope she grows out of that.

I also found a free cat on the local Facebook yard sale sight, and am told it’s a mouser, so here’s hopin’ that I won’t be needing more mouse traps for the house, I am afraid my little one will find them and either end up with a busted finger or a glue trap stuck to her head.  Actually the glue trap would be funny, but the wrath of my wife wouldn’t.

Let Yourself Sing

I recently recalled my days of Choir class while watching a movie.  (OK, it was Pitch Perfect 2, you caught me) I was reminded of the enjoyment I had while in choir, practices, performing, tour, and friendships.  Land it had me thinking about joining the local community chorale group.

I often mention the importance of caring for yourselves physically.  Today I will speak about caring for your soul.  Finding ways of expressing yourself creatively are a wonderful way to stay sane.  Even those who are sick need to create to help them feel full and complete.  My wife likes to crochet, which she can do even when too tired to leave the bed.  In addition to singing, I enjoy woodworking, and bushcrafting.

Recreation is how we re-create ourselves.  But you also need to let yourself sing.  However you express yourself, do it.  Many of the great works of art came out of the deepest sorrows of the creator.  Johannes Brahms wrote this song after the deaths of both his wife, and his best friend.

God gave each of us talents, and we are meant to shine.  ‘Our playing small does not serve the world.’

Beans Sprouts and Life

Have you ever seen bean sprouts made?  The beans are soaked, then put under a heavy weight.  However, the weight is calculated to be heavy enough to trick the beans into thinking that they are buried, yet light enough not to squish the softened beans.

God is the same way in life.  We often pass through trials for two reasons.  One in to soften our hearts, to teach us and help us be more humble.  The other reason is to make us GROW.  God’s trials are calculated to be heavy enough to help us push on, and if it was too light, it would be of little use for our development.

i am sorry for my rant last week.  I had a heavy weight on my shoulders.  I still do, but I think I am beginning to see the sprouts forming.  What they will bow I to will take time, and patience on my part, yet those seem to be the traits God is best at.  If it’s good for Him, I figure, it’s good for me too.

Sometimes, we chose trials for ourselves.  Poor choices can lead to disaster, so we must make wise choices.  Sometimes, God answers our prayers in unexpected ways.  I remember asking God to teach me patience.  Boy, what a roommate I got after that!  He is still teaching me patience, but I think this refresher is taking.

Some Days it Hurts

I try not to get negative here on the blog.  I talk about not comparing, because each of us has our own sense of trials, that often we don’t talk about, and only like to share what is good, especially online.  However, I want to share it so people can know both what it is like to be in my current circumstances and as a husband of a spouse with a chronic illness.

But some days it hurts.  It hurts when your wife is bed bound sick, and your child is crying because they want Mommy.  Some days it hurts when people share on Facebook the new home they are building and you live with family.  You see friends graduating medical or law school, and kick yourself for giving up on your education.  Celebrations of promotions when you just want a job.  It hurts when you compare and some days you seem to want to make yourself suffer.  Pictures are shown of women expecting and young kids sitting together, while you wonder if there ever will be another child in your home.  Vacations to, well, anywhere, and the double whammy of unemployment and illness make you wonder if that can ever be possible for you.

What happens at moments like this?  You take showers that are over thirty minutes long so you can be alone and cry without letting others see, because despite the modern age saying that it’s ok for men to cry, you still feel that you need to be the strong one.  You ‘tinker’ in the garage so you can distract your mind for just a few minutes.  You always have videos, TV, music or podcasts going to either just distract yourself, or help you envision a future of hope and comfort.

This has been my week so far.  After I finish this I need to take my wife to the doctors, because what affects most people in a way that we can push through with some vitamin C and an extra half hour of rest has nearly incapacitated my wife, and today, it hurts me too.

Recovery

Well, congrats to my sister in law, Sanna, and her new husband Bob.  (His name really is Bob, and he’s a great guy). However, my wonderful wife was one of the bridesmaids, and it took a lot out of her.  Now she is next to me, making crocheted dice bags for a nerd convention and watching a movie.  (No judging, I’m going too, and I am looking forward to it)

Just like in an airplane, you have to take care of your own oxygen mask before helping others put on their mask.  Same with emotional health.  You need to take care of you before you can help others.  My wonderful wife, I am told, was a super woman at the wedding, and now she is recovering.  I am too sort of, after having been the designated babysitter for the family.  Put I get goofy at weddings so that wore me out too.

My New Project And The Importance of Hobbies

I might be crazy, but I started a YouTube channel about Dutch Oven cooking.  My intro video is here: Video.

However, this isn’t just about me.  Hobbies are important for those of us who are caregivers.  They help us stay grounded and sane.  Recreation is often thought of as just sports or outdoor activities, but if we break down the word, Re- Latin for ‘Again’, and Create-To make, tion-the act of.  So Recreation is the act of making again, or how we renew ourselves.  As we use our energy as caregivers, working to do what we can for those who have limited spoons, we often forget to recharge our own spoons.  It’s like when on an airplane we are told to put on our own mask before helping those with their mask.

Don’t forget, we have to have balance.  But also don’t forget to have fun.

Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

One thing that brought my wife and I together was that we both are planing type people.  When we were dating, we had an email list of things to do or try, and when we needed something to do, we would refure to the list.

However, being a stay at home dad at the moment, it is easy to not plan anything.  Turn on the boob tube, let the kid veg out, and hang out on Facebook.  However, as I am adding projects, writing the blog, figuring out what to cook for dinner, I realise that I need to put planning back into my day even if I don’t have a easy job to plug into my daily schedule.

I understand that everyone isn’t the type to plan out every minute of the day.  Trust me, I love my in laws, but almost all of them are fly by the seat of their pants types, and it used to drive me nuts.  I am getting better, and so are they.  If that is you, a great gateway is the classic to do list.  It at least allows you to get the most important things done, which is important for those who have limited spoons (energy).

I hope that this is helpful to you. Please share in the comments the things that you find useful for planing your day.  I also hope to share my next big project soon, it is a lot of fun.

Using Energy Makes Energy

While this may not be true for everyone who has a chronic illness, we have found that it’s true for my wife.  A few weeks ago, my wonderful wife got the idea to start exercising in the morning by using the path at the local park to do some jogging.  In the past few weeks she, and I, have noticed that she has more energy, feels better, and is losing some weight.  And on the loosing weight, she is looking goooooood.  Not that she wasn’t knock my socks off beautiful before.

Chickens

I had an experience today that was interesting.  Over the past few weeks, I have been caring for my neighbors 24 chickens while he is away, and I had an epheny, these chickens reminded me of my wife. (Because she is a chick, lol)

I feel a great need to be there for them, and feel bad if I forget to do much for them after a few days.  But they take care of themselves for the most part, and really I am only needed for a few small things.  But it is still rewarding.

I am tired and this might only make sense to me.